Tag: #strongwomen #fitwomen #fitness #bikinicompetitor

Booty & Biscotti 19: Even healthy can be unhealthy

On By Diana ALeave a comment

Even “healthy” can be unhealthy…
I’m not in the fitness industry and not trying to pretend to be so I’m not preaching. So what’s the reason for this post? Well if you’re like me you’re pretty much tired of hearing the influx of diet trends out there, promises, fixes etc and this quarantine has brought out every gimmick known to man. Here’s another elastic band workout to do while your bread loaf is fermenting…

I pay @teamludachris (thank god for them) to help me out with my fitness and nutrition but I can tell you that I can teach a thing or two based on my own experiences and issues. I have followed many “diets” and made lifestyle choices and my body has morphed in ways I like but many times in the opposite direction or things have gone wonky.  I have a million food intolerances and am very sensitive to stress and even water intake so here are some points I can share:
1. Diets do work… but temporarily. You will lose weight likely from each and every one of them but sustaining that is the real challenge. There’s a reason why there are so many diets out there. They all work but only for some time for many reasons of course. Some diets are too hard and make no sense to follow long term, some are healthy and some are are actually not very healthy (e.g. calorie deficits for too long or deprivation of “healthy” foods etc…) Be mindful of this and the repercussions it may have on your body.
2. Our bodies adapt. We build tolerance and resistance and our bodies get smarter. I have ran for the past 100 days rain, snow, sun, rainbows and all. Haven’t dropped a pound. I don’t even sweat. Why? Lots of things (e.g. stress) but one of them is that I’m used to it. In order for me to pull a sweat at this point I need to find another means of cardio, run in intervals, be chased by a bear for an hour, etc…I perspire more trying to blowdry my frizzy hair. This same time last year, if I ran this much I would have melted down to nothing.
I have also intensely trained my glutes (almost daily last year) They are the largest muscle and can handle a lot of load and frequency. The elastic bands have helped me isolate muscle fibers. They have not helped me build or maintain muscle.  Bottom line for the past 4 months, elastic bands did not save my life…Point here is that at different points in time our bodies will and can do different things; however, if you get your body used to burning x calories a day on x amount of food, you might need to restrict more or do more to get the same results or better and that’s NOT a good thing but the early onset of potential metabolic disaster (e.g. I should be the portrait for that)
3. The diet trend you swear by may literally kill me. Ninety percent of the food in the dishes I posted are items I am intolerant too. The majority of fruits and vegetables considered  healthy give me a many different reactions. My abdomen will swell, my hands will swell to the extent that they burst and bleed and I will get patches of burning itchy hives for days. That doesn’t include the other fun stuff that happens in the digestive system.
These reactions are not unique to veggies either.  Want to feed me fats? Don’t even go there! Same thing even worse. Avocados nearly killed me last year and 15 grams of peanut butter a day created absolute havoc in my intestines, so I will not embark on a keto diet ever which brings me to the next point.  Stop feeding into trends and follow what makes sense for you.  Many people eat things because they “heard” of the health benefits but don’t actually understand them.  Monk fruit sugar huh? I’m not against it but my heartbeat mysteriously went up all 3 times I baked with it and I got a headache…something weird there. It may be healthy but not healthy for you. For example, legumes and beans are healthy but they make me very ill and for months I had no idea what was wrong with me. I used to eat those instead of meat. Thanks, I’ll take the meat now!
4. Eat what makes sense and what makes your body feel healthy and GOOD. Up until last year the Canadian food guide had dairy and although we’ve known for decades it can be harmful, the point is next food guide they’ll be telling you your celery stick is the enemy.  (I can’t have dairy OR celery by the way) You’ll find studies that indicate wine is good for you but there are going to be equal amounts that say the opposite. That being said, no offense but do you even know how to read a study? The term “research shows” is quite overused and not everything you read is valid or reliable. Educate yourself based on facts but also on what works for you. Check your own foods and act accordingly. Do you understand what you are eating and why you are eating it?

5. Balance and moderation. No one’s telling you to celebrate with dessert everyday but you don’t have to behave like the “No I don’t accept sugar in my life ” biblical person at a party either. Most people don’t know this about me but I actually GAVE UP sugar for about 8 months a few years ago. Guess what? I didn’t look better back then! I think I’m more fit now.  So unless you’re abusing foods like that, do yourself a favour and have a treat in moderation. Make sure to call @biscottidiana if you do 😉

6. Rewards and Punishment. Stop rewarding yourself with food and punishing yourself with exercise.  Trust me I’m a bit embarrassed admitting it since I’m smarter than that but I’ve done the “ate a cheat meal and need to run like a gerbil for an hour” There are actual solid scientific reasons that this backfires which I won’t sit here and go into but please read up on them (metabolic damage, excessive caloric restriction, fight or flight principle with storing calories) but the number one reason being that it leads to poor relationship with food and exercise and potential eating disorders.

The next time you’re sitting around contemplating whether sweet potatoes are bad for you or not go check out my competition picture. Those potatoes made and saved my ass!

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Booty & Biscotti 12: The Aftermath

On By Diana A2 Comments

I tanked. The judges really didn’t like me at the competition and post competition I’m not looking so great so I tanked.  A couple of months ago I wrote about being proud to stand on stage and looking how I did after so much hard work mentally and physically and after having to overcome so many hurdles.  I meant that. I am proud because I put in the work and did so much to get there. 

But that’s the point.  In this industry you need to constantly evolve and grow a thicker skin because it’s never good enough. The way you look is never enough and you will constantly be reminded of that. I was warned by many people even within the industry that the competition look is “not sustainable”.  Granted being at 10 percent body fat and under is not the norm which is the second issue:

What is normal?  

Better yet, what is my normal? If the weight is not sustainable then how is it that some people who aren’t even training at an athletic level look more shredded than I am?  Or why have some people been able to maintain a lower body fat with their reverse diet and not me? Some of these athletes are in this permanently “jacked” state. As for me, if I told a stranger that I competed in a bikini competition just 2 months ago they would likely laugh in my face. You’d never know it and many would be quick to just place me in the “bikini girl gone fat” category and take a look at the next pretty girl walking by and I’m part of an incredible team who have given me the proper tools and knowledge post competition but I’ve crashed partly from my own indulging and partly from my body having such intense issues. You see I lacked a lot of flexibility in my diet not necessarily due to the bodybuilding but the strict diet because of my allergies.  Trying to “reintroduce” has not had a positive impact on me. I’ve never been one to sit there and eat junk and crap food so when the rest of the athletes were occasionally having their crap cheat meals, I was careful yet I still didn’t look as good and now that I had a gelato I’m paying the piper big time. Eat and no good, don’t eat still no good. Shrug shoulders here….

I spent 3 weeks in Europe where I can attest that my ass was the only one that didn’t have cellulite on it, yet despite this I felt lousy in my bikini.  I’m not whining here but being 100 percent truthful and you can ask my husband who had to hear me constantly question where my muscle went. “It’s all there”, he’d say and roll back on his lawn chair leaving me to just sit in disbelief. I didn’t dare post any photos of me in fear I’d end up reposted #bikinifail or #bikinigirlgonefat. And there you have it the old wounds resurface. That feeling of always being the bigger one when standing in a bikini just like I used to feel.  Feeling annoyed because I couldn’t pack down 2 burgers and a large fry like the girl next to me that was all boobs and lashes. 

“The Dark Side”

I put up this post for many reasons. Not because I want any comments but simply to show that the act of bodybuilding and training is wonderful and empowering ( to me anyway) and the competition appears glamorous on that day but there is a dark side and this is it. Body image distortions, obsessions, poor self image; these are all things that are part of it if you’re not careful.  I don’t care how far we think we have come in society: this is still widely predominant among “females” and social media doesn’t help at all. I know in my case, I may have to consider doing some housekeeping, as I come to realize I really don’t need to open up my feed and see 20 girls in a row in their bikinis or thongs, not to mention it makes me look like a serious pervert when opening up my Instagram in public. I’m pretty bright (I know better) so if it can have an impact on me imagine what it does to younger girls. Food for thought here.. Are we really being “inspiring?”

“Stand Strong Baby Girl”

More importantly, I look at my daughter. The messages I want to convey to her.  I always valued character and intelligence more in a person anyway (ever notice how we tend to find people unattractive when they are unkind?)

I watched my daughter stand tall and strong in her “swimgear” on vacation. She has no idea about her body image..yet… She played in the sand, ran in her suit, bent and “folded herself” in all kinds of funny positions (many of us wouldn’t dare for fear of the “unflattering” positions) But she did and she squealed with delight and it was exhilarating to watch.  And at some point, I felt sad. Because we all started off that way and then we become critical and self conscious of ourselves and stopped. I wish we could all find that acceptance and comfort with ourselves no matter what. I wish that every woman could stand proud and strong just like the little girls do.

As for me, will I compete again? Yup. I’ll pay again to have someone nit pick at me, not because I really need to but because I have new goals and ideas that I need to see through for my own personal victory. But before that, I go back to the drawing board and face the girl in the mirror once more and work on my self acceptance and tell her to “Stand Strong” and maybe to be like the young child that we all once were: laughing and running in the sand.

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Booty & Biscotti 9: Meet my Coach

On By Diana ALeave a comment

56866504_615096542298836_7961843964816916480_n“Trust me”, she said.

That was what my coach said after I nearly fell out of my seat when she told me I needed to grow my ass.  I think I may have shouted out a “Oh hells no” loud enough for half the gym to hear. As far as I was concerned one of the reasons that I had signed up with her was to help me reduce what I thought was the biggest part of me so I was a bit confused with her statement.  There I stood stating all my requests as if I was making selections from a takeout menu. “I want more this and less of this”, I said pointing around to parts of my body. She was silent and had a little smirk on her face completely omitting what she probably refers to as my “crazy talk”.

I discovered Melissa through a social acquaintance on Instagram.  I was truly amazed with her physique and the way she carried it with beauty and grace. The caption posted about her really resonated with me that day too. Some blurb about people telling her she couldn’t achieve what she did. Yet she did.  My curiosity turned to fear as I thought to myself, “This is way out of my league. She’s going to laugh at me”, and I’d toss my phone to the side. Until about 5 months later.

“I’m not one that needs to be pushed. You tell me to do something I will do it”

That was my opening line during our first consultation when I finally had the nerve to meet her. I needed her to know that I don’t need to be pushed. I am dedicated and if you tell me to do 10 burpees, I’ll give you 15 without complaining and they won’t be half ass. That’s just who I am. What she also needed to know was that my tank was completely empty.  In certain areas of my life, I had given so much, even too much and yet I felt as though I was always falling short of my goals in some way or another. I constantly felt like I was a hamster on a wheel, spinning around and around and not actually going anywhere. I needed something tangible. Even more so I craved something greater than I could even yet pinpoint. I think she sensed that and understood how to guide me.  With the right combination of trust, integrity, a strong work ethic and a positive connection, Melissa has been and is a true gem.

Trust

I’m a very empathetic and intuitive individual so when I say my senses about a person are bang on I’m usually right and before even meeting my coach (a.k.a. “The Sassinator”) I knew I was on the right path. I don’t think I can find the right words to explain how difficult it can be to put your trust in someone else when it comes to your own body especially with the medical baggage I come with. So for me to trust in someone else to determine what exercise to do, what food to eat and how much of it I should be eating was a big step.  At the point where I had met her I had just spent 40 days on an elimination diet trying to pinpoint what was making me sick. I was eating healthy but not the right amounts, combinations and some of the “healthy” foods were creating havoc on my body so putting faith in her was a big step. Every time she makes a change in the plan, I have to have faith that this is the right decision for me, this is what it takes to create the changes and transformations required in this sport. This is what works for me when everyone else may be a totally different plan. Even when other athletes you know may be doing something different, I trust her. I trust her because she has shown me time and time again that I can and that I should.

Show me

In a role reversal conversation I once told a trainer to remember where he started because within his growth, his ego had somewhat inflated but the quality of his service had declined.  I believe in life that being humble allows for learning and if you’re learning you are growing. If you’re growing you are overcoming your own barriers and truly be fulfilled and successful.  Some people like to claim their success by being narcissistic or arrogant. Melissa does neither of these. She never made false promises to me, never ran her mouth about how fantastic her work was or that of the team she works with, nor did she bother to insult other coaches and teams and their way of working.  She strives to do her best for her clients like me because she has a solid work ethic and is dedicated to do her best. It’s important to be confident in your work and yourself but if you think you have nothing more to learn you will eventually have nothing more to give.

Work Ethic

I know what it is to be a good teacher because I am a teacher.  I also know there are some things that you can’t teach others. That’s work ethic. You can coach, guide, counsel this on to someone else but some people don’t have a strong work ethic and it shows not only in their own performances but also in the way they care for others.  I see this in Melissa.  I think by now you may have read in my blogs that I am a little bit of the “outlier”. I am not her “average” client. I come with a lot of challenges and obstacles. I have literally made that girl research, study, sweat, panic, worry and maybe even cry. In one week alone, she may have had to change my food plan a dozen times due to the inundation of inflammation and reactions my body was having to everything I ate. In fact, if it weren’t for her guidance, I would not have politely suggested to some of the doctors that they were missing a piece of the puzzle and to keep checking for more answers.  She constantly worked in collaboration with me and in tandem with what the health professionals recommended for me and believe me there are not a lot of coaches or people out there that would have gone to that extent.

Rapport

Knowledge is useless if you don’t have the insight and wisdom to be able to share it with others.  Hence, the importance of building a rapport with people and learning to connect to their needs and to who they are. From my countless “crazy” panic texts and talks, Melissa has been there to support me, to listen to me just enough and then to steer me in the right direction. She doesn’t do it because she has to. She does it because she truly cares. She wants me to be successful and if I am successful so is she and the team.

You’re only as strong as your leader, they say and Melissa has also had a strong leader. Team LudaChris (Chris Gurunlian) has been one that I can count on and they have each contributed significantly to where I am today and I am very grateful for their hard work in all areas down to the posing (Yulia Berezina thank you for your patience and insistence on getting this right).

I wish that I could guarantee the best outcome for myself with this upcoming competition not only for myself but for Melissa. Her hard work, dedication and care inspire me to do better each day.  I see the genuine look of pride on her face when I do well and for that and more she deserves a win. Regardless of outcomes, I need her to know that I am grateful and that I see her more than just a coach but as a friend. Because when I was down she helped me get back up and built a warrior from the rubble.56852898_503055583562255_1131199037492428800_n.jpg

Booty & Biscotti 5: Posing Hell

On By Diana ALeave a comment

“Do you ever walk in heels?”, she asked in disbelief.

“What’s wrong with the way I’m walking?”, she thought.  It wasn’t until she watched it on video that her mouth gaped open and thought, “Oh hell I look like that?!!!”

So there it is. I apparently can’t walk in heels. Let’s clarify.  I walk and move around a lot. Or if you read one of my last blogs about time you know I’m pretty much literally running around, dashing through one place to another like Tazmanian Devil.  And I do it in heels all the time. I am no stranger to heels. In fact, I detest feet but have a shoe(heels) obsession. I have jumped over furniture in heels, walked on Roman cobblestone all day, refereed a soccer game and my bestie can vouch I have sprinted at least 500 m in heels to catch a bus like it was nothing.  

shoeThat is until this particular shoe entered my life. Don’t ever introduce me to the person that invented this shoe as I may be tempted to stab them in the eye. Worst shoe of all time. Even worse than the walk and the shoe itself, is posing, or what I have now called this part of my day posing hell. You see the bodybuilding competition is not only about how you look. The judges don’t care what you did or how hard you worked to get there. There is a marketing component as they want you to flaunt yourself like a peacock, twisting your body painfully and unnaturally in the worst shoe of life. Oh and smile! (I’m gritting my teeth here like a very angry dog) Of course you want to also ensure to balance this off looking the right amount of sultry, confident and not shady if you know where I’m going…Are you throwing in the towel yet? If so I don’t blame you!

I quietly thank my coach for not talking much about this part back at the end of the summer when I decided to compete. I don’t think I would have stuck around.  There are two obstacles I am aiming to conquer on this journey. It’s not the diet and not the fitness. It’s posing. Posing hell. I have an even greater appreciation and respect to these ladies in the sport as many of them are able to move so fluidly in their poses. My posing teacher (yup I had to hire one as I’m that pitiful) can move any which way like water and make you gawk.  This is not the case for a Plain Jane like me. If you’ve seen Miss Congeniality you know that this clumsy rough edged woman required an entire squad to get all glamorous and be graceful. Getting glammed up can be fun but I need a miracle at this point for the posing.

Although the posing moves are unnatural and the shoe has me feeling like the stepsisters in Cinderella, the root of the problem runs far deeper than the shoe but has more to do with an individual’s presence and confidence.  I have not ever been one to demand attention or have all eyes on me. Even in the past, I did not gyrate my hips on the dance floor. I was too busy socializing and drinking with the wolf pack at the bar. I could hold my own and carry on a conversation about anything and nothing with anyone and everyone and I make a great wing man but then it stops there. No one paid much attention to me other than my impressive skills (I’ve been bone dry for a very long time now no need to worry) and I just grew up assuming people didn’t care to pay attention to me anyway.  I’m not upset about this at all; just simply stating the facts. That being said, I can walk into a room and own it and not be tongue tied but if I have to try to shine in a physical way, I can cower in an instant. Some people don’t struggle with this and can be so pompous you want to puke. Recently, if you were a fly on the wall, you would have seen two girls walk into the space where I was posing, strip out of their clothes like it was nothing and turn and twist around without blinking.  What was I doing? Trying to quickly get back into my clothes in a corner all the while screaming in my head, “Dammit girl get it together your momma made you decent looking!”

So these next weeks need to be about self acceptance: Who am I? Where am I now? Reflection: How have I grown? What do I need to do next to improve?, and self love.  Before I can even dive deeper into confidence, I have to go put those awful shoes on and strike a pose.

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