Thanks to this Covid pandemic, both my booty and biscotti and a lot of other things are on very unstable grounds right now.  I’m not here to lecture anyone because I’m learning how to get through this myself and there’s been some mishaps here including yesterday when my laptop went flying across the room in my unexpected fit of rage (I’ll save you the rest but there was more) But based on these moments and some things here and there that I know and understand from an educational and psychological perspective, I can share some things:

Step up and be the best role model:

For those of us, like myself that have children, irrespective of their age right now the most important knowledge that you can impart on your child is what you model.  We know this. It’s a fact and often easier said than done.  They say it takes a village to raise a child. There is no “community”, village, teachers etc…right now as we are all in quarantine. It is just you and whoever else resides in your home.  Your children are looking to you for everything right now. To be their parent, their mother, their father, their friend, their pillar, their rock, their role model. So when my own kindergartener is looking at me with big eyes, I have to dig really deep right now but step up and be there for her more than ever.  They will act according to what they see. I can tell you with certainty after having worked with students in crisis and with emotional and behavioural problems for many years. I often gave it my absolute all every day only for it to be all unraveled once they returned home if that home was filled with anger, abuse or other dysfunctional situations. So step up and do your best. 

Recognize and Address Emotions:

You along with your family members and children are experiencing a range of emotions which are all to be expected and normal as some of these days become weeks. Some of it may be hormonal depending on their age, some may be situational and some of those emotions they may not be able to understand or work through.  Help them navigate and understand them, label it, give context to what they are feeling, but also give them some space when needed. Quiet observations come a long way. Observe for patterns and provide healthy coping mechanisms. Like when my daughter wanted to read the same winter book three days in a row and I clued in it was a gift from her teacher.  This was her way to hang on to her teacher. Show and model your support but then take a step back if required. I will allow the psychology professionals to elaborate further but do pay attention to the anxiety and emotions that may surface. Their brains are still developing, and setting good foundations is required to build resilience. I will also add that it is not just for your children but for you too.  When we cannot do the things we know how to do or enjoy there is a sudden jolt in our sense of identity. We are all at home and all experiencing this to some degree or another. It is uncomfortable and scary.  Be honest here too, we’re not coming out of this exactly taking off where we left off. We may have gained some and lost some. It will not be exactly the same. In the meantime, find functional coping strategies to deal with the stressors that arise. Sweep it under the rug and it will surely come out to bite later.

Reduce the unnecessary:

Right now more than ever we are being asked to reduce all that is unnecessary, whether it be in the number of times we leave the house, to the foods we ingest etc… but this also applies to what we prime ourselves to see during these upcoming days and weeks.  As I have said in previous posts, if what you are seeing on social media is not inspiring you, then eliminate it. Because we are home and “available” for more hours, does not mean we have to make ourselves available to that which is not good for us. I’m not going to sit there and do 4 workouts in a row (not getting into this today but it really is metabolically, body damaging etc..) It’s unnecessary and this is a time for me to yes be healthy, exercise but not build destructive patterns of behaviour or add pressure on yourself. You have and will have enough to worry about later. Do things for your soul that make you feel good and maybe educate yourself on a few things to keep the brain stimulated and yourself empowered.

Plan ahead:

Utilize some of this time to plan ahead and set goals and objectives for yourself and loved ones. Take the time to ask some really hard questions, like what if this goes on for more than X amount of time. What will you do? What can you do? What is in your control or not? How can you start to plan ahead now? Spending the days aimlessly doing a bunch of things isn’t going to answer those questions.  You’re still not facing the music. You’re just learning to distract yourself and procrastinate (I’ve been there trust me).

Practice some altruism:

Now more than ever we are being asked to practice altruism.  Ironically, in this isolation, I fear that we may in fact become more self absorbed.  Remember the bigger picture. We are being asked to socially distance and isolate so that we can in the long term UNITE.  So more than ever this is not you but us. Everyone has their own sources of motivation but really right now I get it. It’s personal. Post your activities, recipes, photos etc.. because that’s what people need right now for humour, distraction etc… but remember not to be so self absorbed and that no one really gives a shit what you may or may not be looking like right now. Be kind to others, do for others, support someone who may be struggling right now which brings me to the last point reach out and stay connected. Let those that died because of this not have died in vain. Protect yourself and others.

Reach out

We are fortunate that we have technology to remain connected.  Reach out to the people that you love and care about. Now is the time to get real and say what you have to say, be who you want to be because as 2020 keeps showing us, life is short, shorter for some and you really don’t know what it will bring. Maybe you won’t have another day to do that so take the opportunity to be kind and send a message to people.  The human species is not meant to be isolated. We are special for many reasons and among one of them is our ability and need to connect to others. To talk, to interact, to touch each other and more. Reach out and love. Stay home but be human.