My awesome sister warned me some time ago before a big new day that I may not be welcomed with open arms. I’m usually the blunt one but wow did she put me in my place that day. Her words seemed harsh and stung yet in no time I understood her message and quickly felt lonely roaming trying to make sense of things.

You see people have a natural tendency to categorize. It gives comfort to provide a label and neatly “file” people. I know this not only from experience but from what I have witnessed in education as early as preschool years. “Different” envokes the unknown. It envokes fear, feelings of unpredictability, resentment, and worse depending on how vast from the norm the differences are. Everyone fits neatly in a compartment of labels, norms, rules, categories and more until that square peg comes along. I’m the square peg. I have friends and great relationships and supporters but in some ways I am that peg or the black sheep that strays. The “outlier” and the more anyone sets too many limits or tries to fit me into a mold the more I retaliate (go talk to my dad…it started pretty young).

I have always been someone with many interests and the more I’ve tried to shut out those parts of me the more chaos and detriment I created. I need variety in some areas of my life to make sense of things. So what may appear as a chaotic life to some is therapeutic and much required in mine. My normal is “busy” but stimulating to me.  In fact, when it comes to certain parts of me, I do not believe I need to be “monogamous” like you would with a partner. “Diana” is a woman, a mother, a lover, a sibling, a daughter, an educator, a leader, a scholar, an entrepreneur and an aspiring author, and an aspiring athlete. All of these things coexist within me and are part of my identity and more.  Some of them are intense or come with heavy burdens and some take up more space and time but I am to decide what and how much I give to each of these areas. The best loyalty is that to myself and my values. Only then can I reciprocate this with others.

This makes me no less dedicated or committed to my crafts but rather keeps me motivated to reach for my goals and aspire to be my greatest self. I am no means shaming anyone that doesn’t follow this lifestyle. There are plenty out there that have been content with their profession or hobby from the time they were all young. That’s great and wonderful but it doesn’t make you OR I less deserving or valuable. We need to see past that in people and understand that there are many facets to a person and their individuality.  No one has to choose.  So can I be and educator and an entrepreneur/baker? Why the hell not? In fact, the majority of people can’t do this in their “youth” because they need the time to grow. Life experiences and some resources are required because most of us don’t have anyone handing us a wad of cash and saying, “Go on little one and open up shop”. Can I be a baker and an athlete?   Yup, I stood there on stage once and can do it again and will (Coach Ludachris stop yelling) I decide my limits.  The only thing that can block that is a lack of health and perhaps forced times of this pandemic. I am a fantastic gluten-free baker and my company has value because the person standing behind it is valuable, dedicated and has a potential that’s only scratched the surface. That bothers some people out there who gawk and wonder where this “baker” came from all of a sudden. I woke up. That’s what happened now do your thing and mind your own business while I tend to mine. I’m a great teacher too and a natural leader so when someone tells me I have to choose, I don’t have to do no such thing and if I do the choice is mine to make. In fact, this combination made me share with my students many times that they could and should pursue many hobbies and passions and that they could and can change their minds about career choices.  This perception is what often allowed me to see past the student in the past in crisis to the strengths inside them. Because if you only focus on one area of a person you miss out on many parts of them.  There are many things I wanted to tell my students and many things I did not get to share with them. Like the time I told them it took courage to stand before people and wait for them to come to try a cookie and want to buy that cookie while so many other products don’t give the time of day to even bother doing that. But perhaps a great lesson to share would be to not allow anyone to set a preconceived set of limitations on them and to not tolerate it being set on others. Be open to different opportunities as they are often catalysts to growth.

I told a friend recently that I work hard, am good at what I do and that I don’t ride on any one’s coattails. I achieve on my own merits and I am dedicated to the things I pursue and the people I surround myself with. I am working to being my best and most authentic self and to know my own worth and if we all were to do the same instead of trying to set boundaries on people, there would be a little less chaos everywhere.