While I was pregnant, I was given a lot of advice, tips and supporting words.  Some messages resonated more than others and one thing that stood out was how often I was told to enjoy my maternity leave.  For those who are about to embark on the parenting journey, I would like to propose that you view this from a different angle.  It’s not only about the year that you have to bond with your child and care for your child, even if on some days you feel that your skill level and mental abilities have been reduced to tracking diaper changes or taking data on sleep patterns.  It’s also not only about the fact that time does certainly pass quite quickly and your child will grow up before your eyes.

During my own journey, I saw this statement in a whole new light.  Pre-baby, I hated when people used to tell me to enjoy my maternity leave.  I was so immersed in my job that I had a lot of difficulty when I was removed for a preventative leave.  I often wished to be back at work, wondered about my students well being or my colleagues sanity.  What was supposed to be a joyous moment in my life was often darkened by the fact that I just did not know what to do with myself.  I had put in so much into my teaching career that I had no external hobbies or responsibilities and felt a little lost when I couldn’t be there.  Actually, I’m totally lying, I felt like I was spiraling out of control.  I had no control over what was going on in my classroom and this notion alone was such an alarming feeling.  Whenever I could, I even snuck around and tried to help some of those students in other ways.  I hadn’t even had the baby yet and I was already planning my return to work.  Until, my daughter was born. In an instant, life as I knew it completely changed and my perspectives shifted.

Here is what I realized. The only time in your life that you will ever be away from work for a positive reason is your maternity leave.  This is ONE year in your life where you are away and gifted with a different responsibility and a very short time for you to learn about your child and also to learn about yourself.   In many parts of the world, they have even less time, in some places as little as 8 weeks. 8 weeks!!! Can you imagine? We really are fortunate to have a year.  One year.  After that year, should you be fortunate enough, you will work EVERY day, five days a week, less or more until your age of retirement (which may I add is increasing).

Think about it this for a moment.  Let it sink in.  Who do you know that does not work?  Pardon for being so abrupt, but they are likely ill, they are dying or perhaps they are retired. Those that are retired may be in optimal health traveling their five star cruises.  But many are probably feeling lost at home trying to reinvent themselves, since they too have associated themselves with their careers for so long that they no longer know how to face life without that.  Aside from the retired population then, if you are not working, this is likely because you are ill or dying which I need not say more about since this would be devastating to you and your loved ones.  We all like to envision that those who do not work are the exceptionally wealthy and privileged but this is a very miniscule part of our population.  Last time I checked we did not all win the lottery and drop our jobs to sail around the world.  ONE year. If you have more than once child then perhaps you are at two or three years in your lifetime.

So next time someone says, enjoy your mat leave, try not to roll your eyes.  I hope you see past the days where you don’t feel your best or look your best, or do the things you once had time for.  You have been given an exceptionally difficult task as you become a parent.   Despite that, one year is all you have before you return to the chaos of multitasking and trying to juggle various responsibilities in the game that we call life.

As I come full circle and approach the final days of my maternity leave, I will enjoy it as those before me advised and pray that I will be in good health to raise my daughter and reach my retirement years so that I can sail away, to where the grass is greener of course…

by Diana Antonacci

Photo image taken from: http://cdn.thegrindstone.com/files/2012/02/maternity-leave-3.png