Recently I had the opportunity to travel abroad with my ten month old baby to Europe for three weeks.  Prior to leaving, many people who heard of my travel plans would wince at the idea of traveling with a little one.  Some were even quick to ask if I had given it a lot of thought and if I would be ok.  The truth is I hadn’t given it much thought and I didn’t know if everything was going to be ok.  All I could do was hope alongside my husband that we would handle whatever came our way on that trip.

What helped me through this journey in Europe was my expectation level (stay tuned for more about expectations in a future post!) I tried not to set specific expectations so that I would not be disappointed.  Rather, I let myself be at peace with the unknown that was to come and to take this vacation as a learning experience.  And an experience it was!

For starters, the amount of luggage I had was quite something.  How a tiny little person can take up so much space is incredible!  My luggage no longer consisted of the 4 pairs of stilettos with matching trendy purses but rather one pair of comfortable shoes sandwiched beside the diapers  that I didn’t even need to bring in the first place since I wasn’t traveling to a third world country.  In lieu of sexy lingerie was an endless amount of baby onesies and baby clothing.  Once I made it to the airport and checked in what felt like my entire house, I couldn’t help but smirk as I passed the magazine stand.  This is when I realized how different things would be on this vacation.  Gone were the days where I would read 3 magazines, part of a book and maybe even watch a movie during the flight.   Instead, I would likely be spending the bulk of my 6 hour flight entertaining, consoling and feeding my daughter.  My daughter was a gem on the flight so I quietly wondered when all hell was going to break loose.  It never did! She traveled and adapted exceptionally well and we were blessed with three fabulous weeks together.  Maybe she has a great temperament, however I like to think that part of it is because of the attitude I had which is why I think my experience is worth sharing with other families in similar situations.

In the past I would have never thought that I would end up changing a diaper literally on or beside a beautiful landmark or statue, or that my breasts would have been half exposed all over parts of Europe to feed my child.  And if you think getting out of the house with a baby was challenging enough at home, imagine on vacation.  Some nights I wondered if we would ever make it out for dinner as I had to scrub the sand off her body, feed and clothe her and then try to have the energy to do the same to myself. Make up was omitted and if I got half a glance in the mirror just to make sure that I looked half decent then this was a real treat, otherwise I would have to settle for my husband mumbling a yes to my daily question of “Do I look fine?” Ah yes, my little human being who took up so much room in our luggage also stole our hearts and most of our attention too.  Oh and did I mention the party town we stayed in, where the streets were an endless array of pubs, bars and clubs?  Those places were like the forbidden fruit of Eden on this vacation.

On the beach I sometimes envisioned that I looked like a dog salivating in the desert.  The sun was beaming and the water looked so glorious but I could not allow myself to indulge too much this time.  On past vacations, I used to sunbathe and come home with a rich shade of brown.  On this vacation though, I had such a fear of burning my child that I kept her under the shade at all times.  Since I was supervising her, there was no time to deal with a drama such as a sun stroked mom, so I sat right next to her in the shade and observed the sun junkies rotate their towels to the suns changing angles in the quest for that perfect suntan.

During those shaded hours, I learned to embrace my present being which I was never able to really do before.  I learned to embrace my present reality.  You have to laugh at these things and learn to embrace these differences for your sanity.  Note that I chose to use the words “learn”.  Many of us will not embrace these things innately and this is ok.  You do not need to feel guilty for being annoyed that you can’t read 4 magazines in a row and worry about what shade of lipstick you want to buy from the duty free aisles.  I learned to laugh at the differences and joked with my husband of what drunken fools we would have been in those clubs pre baby days.  Except for that brief moment where I tried to convince my husband to go to the club/rave across the street and come back after thirty minutes to tell me how it was (yup I really did ask him), I was genuinely happy with this new experience and what I got to share with my family.  I understood that this is a temporary phase in my life and one that I will never regain.  Learn. Embrace. Understand.  Many of us need to learn to embrace or simply cope with this but I do recommend that you do learn because it is rewarding if not immediately but with time.  Immediately, in the present moment, your child will never tell you thanks for making them the center of attention.  Your child will not understand that you would like to stay out and have a drink when they are rubbing their little hands on their tired eyes.  She or he will not apologize to you if you couldn’t wear your 5 inch heels on cobblestones AND push a stroller at the same time in 36 degree weather, but by accepting it you will be building towards your foundation of family so that one day you hope that she will want to walk by your side willingly and trip with you in her own pair of stilettos.

I learned, I embraced and I understood that this is far more important than anything else I can experience on a vacation.

by Diana Antonacci